I blogged hopped abit and checked out my friends. Somehow I can’t help but feel that I’ve not done enough..
I know comparing and competing makes one more miserable. But.. am I settling for less? Could there be more? Am I fully using my capabilities? I’ve lost sight of my goals. Lost sight of myself. My targeted self. Because I’m just so short-sighted and caught up in the present.
I haven’t worked as hard as I could or should. But I’m not really complaining. Why do I need to work so hard and get all stressed up when what I am doing is ok? I’m not really after any scholarship. I just wanna graduate. Sounds really really unambitious right? [Taking 7 mods is rather ambitious but I’m doin as much damage control as I can]
Life is a lot easier for me right now, after making the major decision to switch major. Maybe it’s because I’m still deciding what I want to do with this course. I don’t feel the excitement as yet. I guess foundation modules are always not that exciting. But I’m looking forward to sem 2, with some more urban development, economics and whatnots.[AND LESS MODS]
I keep having frenx that tell me that B is not ok. Then another will say 3.7 is not ok. cos there’s 4. I asked another person and she said 4 is not ok, cos there’s 4.5. Seriously.. I admire their desire to get better grades. I’m not sure if I was ever like that. I doubt so. I was just interested in what I was doing and did my best. Right now.. I’m still searching for that key thing that makes me interested. Certainly not real estate law.. too much reading. I’m lookin at the planning part. I do like my lectures with Mr. Lim, the wise old man [as he calls himself] haha. he has 7 degrees! however, I don’t really like accounting and numbers. seriously. avoid avoid avoid. [im only gonna do that accountin question for his exam and that’s all!]
I think I might really be left with urban planning. But URA only hires one or two? SO IT STILL BOILS DOWN TO COMPETITION. Like it or not. Sigh. I think I’ve got to start doing some extra stuff that’s not just grades to set myself apart from the muggers.
Guess I should sleep now.