Taken from Yu-Kym’s blog. I love this post =] I hope more guys can understand what gals want. ^_^
for more, go to http://yu-kym.blogspot.com
What a woman wants?
We, men, gather among ourselves over beer, coffee or food usually discuss one thing in common – women. How else the neuroscientist or sociologist mentions that men think about sex almost every hour? Or every minute? Err… I am not sure. But I know I think about it everyday. Hahahaha…
I do think about it all the time. Sex aside, right now, I am more concerned about how to win her heart instead. I am no Casanova or nerd. Just an average male with high testosterone on over drive. I had my fair share of numerous relationships and short flings myself. And I am still learning why what we men do or say can never really make a woman happy.
What the hell do you woman really want from us?
Many husband and boyfriends ask the same question every now and then. The fact is, this modern woman wants everything a man wants: Success, power, status, money, love, marriage, children, happiness, and fulfillment.
Let me share just a few pointers to winning a woman’s heart.
Choosing gifts are like walking on a mine field. Today’s women are making enough to buy their own luxuries. A woman who values true love tends to be wary of gifts that are too costly. A flamboyant gift can make her feel that a man is trying to buy her affections and sees her as a price catch rather than someone with feelings and emotions.
Gifts that have a personal touch to it are the best kind of gift. Because such gifts when chosen properly, are the statements of caring and appreciations of her special talents or tastes.
The Best gifts, from woman’s point of view are, Romance. It’s missing in the lives of ongoing couples. Including myself too. It’s the little things that makes a difference, like doing things together, sharing a good laugh. These are the “diamonds” that’s consider as her best friends.
Honor or Praise her.
Very few women think they are beautiful or good enough for their men or themselves. And they love to compare with their own species. They are never satisfied with their bodies, looks, dressings or accessories. Always complaining how much fatter they have becomes or having a few more strands of grey hair. Complexion is dull or acne outbreak. It’s always about the physical aspect of themselves.
With all the pressure from the media telling them how they should look and dress, isn’t it time for men to step up and perhaps save our bank accounts to let our woman know that they are in fact good enough? Why would woman with a pair of feet and hardly walk more than 500km in their adult lifetimes wants to purchase countless pairs of shoes for? I really had no idea how much a woman actually wants to look good on their feet. Perhaps, if we men start to pay attentions to their feet instead of their boobs, the woman may buy fewer shoes? Hahahaha. I made that up. Sorry.
It may be difficult for a man to understand why a woman doesn’t think she’s beautiful when she looks perfectly fine to him. By telling her she is beautiful in a straight and indistinct manner will never work. Trust me. She needs a specific compliment. E.g. if she did came back from the hairdressing salon, it’ll be an honest compliment if you tell her how good she looks in that new haircut instead of mentioning she looks as pretty as before.
By focusing on details, we men show the woman that we are demonstrating a sincere attention on her. And it does boost her self-esteem. And when she asks, “Am I fat in this dress?” If your answer is a simple no, chances are, she assumes you think she is fat!
I’ll say something like this, “Honey, the dress makes you look fat. Try another one instead?” “Ah…This one makes me all excited already.” The very next instant, she won’t feel fat anymore. But, instead, she feels accepted by me and that’s what matters.
To some men, it’s like sweet talking. To me, I’ll put it as, constructive and complimentary criticisms. Takes lots of practice. Trial and error you know? Hahaha. And remember, positive feedback gives a woman an incentive to dress up, which in turn makes the romance alive.
Listen when she talks.
Woman needs a sympathetic ear when she feels troubled. Not a scolding or “I told you so!” A simple conversation can be different to a man and a woman. For a man, a conversation is a way to define a problem, debate the rights and wrongs, and then find a solution. To do that, a man may interrupt the woman until she “understands” what his point is.
But, in actual fact, a woman would prefer a friendly ear from a man over an advice instead. They always view conversations as a way to share their emotions. They talk until they feel better. But, men always stay away from personal and emotional issues where woman wants to steer their conversations into.
In a marriage or for cohabitating couples, men should take note that, any sentence you say is typically perceived by woman to be more negative than intended. A moderate compliment will be thought of as neutral statement. And a neutral statement will be heard as negative. Positive statements are the best as it can prevent many misunderstandings and mean a lot to marital happiness.
Men fall in love faster.
Having said that, we men knew what it is like when the woman of our desire appears in front of our very eyes. Our thoughts run on hyper drive. Hormones working doubly hard. But wait a minute. Before we think we can profess our affections to her, we must know this.
Women don’t fall in love as easily as men do. Men tend to be romantics, often falling in love more quickly than woman, who tend to focus more on practical considerations in choosing a mate. They look for long-term qualities in a partner. Far more than men, they allow their heads to control their hearts. Though they long for love, they will never stop asking themselves this question, “Can I trust and depend on this man?”
After reading the above paragraph, I hope the male readers will stare less often in the mirror and start polishing their character such as kindness and dependability. Spend less time on hair, clothes or gadgets. Pay more attention to her if you are thinking of sweeping the woman off her feet instead.
Whether we men like it or not, we have to admit – when it comes to fixing leaking taps, choked sinks, changing light tubes or any mechanical macho stuff that needs brute strength to do it, we men of course are good at it. But, what about the human touch? Or relationships with others? And I am not referring to those office bitches that keep gossiping about others. Am referring to her putting in kind words for the men or fellow colleagues to make the situations pleasant. In a heated argument between men, women are always good at bringing down the temperature. By making each man sees their own faults.
Another example is a good woman knows how to bargain and save money for his sake. She will always look out for a good deal for her man and family. Yes, we man does know how to bargain as well. But are never as determined as the woman. A woman does have her very unique way of solving certain problems which we men can’t bring ourselves to do sometimes.
Man and woman do have each own special capabilities in solving problems. It’s very wrong to accuse each other dumb. “My husband can’t do anything but watch his sports channel all day long.” Or “My wife only knows how to spend on shopping.” “He only knows how to drink beer with his buddies. That’s all he knows.” “She is always on the phone or doing facial, that’s all she knows.”
Sometimes, we need to give each other some down time and not always dwell on it or finding fault with each other.
Time to be alone.
Man needs time to do his own stuff as long as he is not doing anything sinful against his woman. So does the woman. But, men are often more uncomfortable with the woman being left alone. We men tend to think there’s something wrong with her or we must have said something to make her become like this.
Women need their “down time” just as much as men do. They need to shop, read, and recharge batteries or gossip. Men should not be hurt if his spouse doesn’t want to spend time with him. In general, people don’t appreciate how important solitude can be. Men need to understand that when a woman takes time to be alone, she’s expressing a need to be independent, not because she lacks love for her companion.
Equality of sexes
As much as woman who wants to share their chores with their husband or boyfriend, be it a problem or housework, woman must also learn to help with some of the household bills or financial aspects of things with their men.
How can there be equality if the feminism fad calls for men to respect woman when all she does is spend his money and bullies him into submission?
Imagine this. Wife wants to work and earn money. Money she earns is for her personal use. Husband must work too. He has to fetch her to and back from work. Fortunately, he doesn’t have to work on her job as well. Housework is cared for by the employed maid paid for by the husband. All household bills will be settled by him. He has to slog day and night to upkeep the family. Yet woman demands equal treatment! Is this fair for the man?
On the other side of things, wife finishes her work early and goes home to prepare dinner then mops and cleans up the house. Husband comes home to a tidy house, children doing their homework diligently; dinner is served and ready to be eaten. He dumps his briefcase aside and sits down to eat. Then complains about how messed up she looks and why the food doesn’t taste as delicious as “somewhere else”. And expects her to be loving and sweet towards him. What the..?
Give the wife a break, she’s too tired from her traditional role too. Man should help lessen her work load at times. Not totally remove all her duties till she becames listless and finds fault with her man.
So what is the equality here?
It’s about knowing the role well. What man and woman are supposed to do. Forget about the Sensitive new age Guy thing. No woman wants a whimpy soft kind of man whose ambition is to be a househusband instead of bringing home the bacon. As for the woman, it’s the complete opposite, no man will really be truly happy if their wives put career over marriage or family issues.
If man and woman share their responsibilities, such as their role well enough, there will not be much arguments or fights to begin with.
A true friend indeed.
Women always want their man to be their equal. A partner, friend and some possibility of a mentor as well. Someone whom they look up to. A father figure kind of thing without really looking like her father’s age of course. Few women take pleasure in being the mother, secretary or general picker-upper for their husbands or boyfriends.
Women who delight in the boyish charms of their husbands or boyfriends initially will eventually becomes frustrated if he does not grow up soon enough. Immaturity is something woman can barely tolerate in a relationship. A woman wants the man in her life to be a true equal, someone who respects her strengths, treats her weakness with kindness, and expects her to do the same for him.
In short, women want a friend, a lover and a partner who knows and understands her inside out.
That’s the perfect man she is looking for, it’s not that hard to achieve if we are determined enough to prove to her that, there are still good men around to chose from.