A window to my world

Gone – N’sync

There’s a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change

Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now..

I’ve been sitting here
Can’t get you off my mind
I’ve tried my best to be a man and be strong
I’ve drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..

You’re gone..
You’re gone..
Baby you’re gone
Girl you’re gone, baby girl, you’re gone..
You’re gone..
You’re…

I don’t wanna make excuses, baby
Won’t change the fact that you’re gone
But if there’s something that I could do
Won’t you please let me know?
Time is passing so slowly now
Guess that’s my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don’t want to

So I’ll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can’t say that you don’t love me too
Please say you do

Yeeaah….

I’ve been sitting here
Can’t get you off my mind
I’ve tried my best to be a man and be strong
I Drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You’re gone..
You’re gone..
You’re gone
You’re gone…you’re gone.. you’re….
Gone

Ohhh…

Oh what’ll I do
If I can’t be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be

Now that we are apart
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don’t you see?
That I need you here with me

Oohhh…

I’ve been sitting here
Can’t get you off my mind
I’ve tried my best to be a man and be strong
I’ve drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

Been sitting here
Can’t get you off my mind
I’ve tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You’re gone..
You’re gone..
You’re gone
You’re gone
Gone
You’re gone..

But the truth remains
You’re….

It’s been 4 days, 3 nights.. Since you’re ‘gone’.. The days grew shorter cos I have so much to do.. but the nights grew longer cos I was only thinking of you. Who was I to kid that everything is ok? The people in school won’t understand, the people who understand can’t help. I wonder if I’m the only one, still hanging on to the images in my mind. Last night was really tough.. cos I had to sleep early to be ready for morning lec. But how can I sleep early? When darkness falls, and I close my eyes.. You just creep in like a creature of the night.. filling up my mind. I began fearing to go to bed.. Cos I’m either worried that I’ll be missing you or I’ll be worried that I stopped missing you. If you could let it go so easily, then most probably I didn’t really mean much to you. If you couldn’t, then are you true to yourself?

I soaked my pillow for 3 nights. It became my best friend, that allowed me cry as much as I like, and never let me go. Last night was the most. Probably because.. It’s getting clearer and clearer that things can never be the same again. I soaked all for corners, and went back to the first. My eyes got swollen, my nose blocked.. Am I silly?

Yes, I’m clingy, I’m dependent. That’s just me. I thought I found someone who didn’t mind my clingy ways. I don’t mean to be pushy, but you can’t read me. Hate it that it’s just not meant to be.. hate it that I still love you, cos loving you never stops hurting. Hate it that I’m such a fool for you..like a drug addict to heroine. Hate it that I’m suffering from withdrawal symptoms cos you’re no longer here. Hate it that I feel so alone cos I know you will be too. Hate it that you will say, it’s what you have to do and it will pass. Hate it that I’m still not strong enough.

 Going to start on anti depressants if I still cry tonight.

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